Nsfw Recipe

Preheat and prepare pans

Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease and flour two 9-inch round cake pans or line with parchment circles.

Combine dry ingredients: In a large bowl, whisk together the all-purpose flour, granulated sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, and salt until evenly blended.

Combine wet ingredients: In a separate medium bowl, whisk the eggs, milk, vegetable oil, and vanilla extract until smooth.

Mix batter: Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir with a spatula or whisk until mostly combined and no large streaks of flour remain. The batter will be thick.

Add boiling water: Carefully pour the boiling water into the batter and stir until smooth. The batter will thin — this creates a moist cake crumb. Divide evenly between the prepared pans.

Bake: Bake in the preheated oven for 25–30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out with a few moist crumbs (not wet batter). Rotate pans halfway through baking for even browning.

Cool: Let the cakes cool in the pans on a wire rack for 10 minutes, then run a knife around the edges and invert onto the rack. Peel off parchment and let cakes cool completely before frosting (about 1 hour).

Beat butter: In a large bowl, beat the room-temperature unsalted butter with an electric mixer on medium speed until creamy, about 1–2 minutes.

Add cocoa and sugar: Sift the cocoa powder and powdered sugar into the bowl (in batches if necessary). With the mixer on low, slowly incorporate the dry ingredients to avoid a powdered sugar cloud.

Add milk and vanilla: Add the milk (or cream), vanilla extract, and salt. Beat on low until combined, then increase speed to medium-high and beat until light and fluffy, about 2–3 minutes. If frosting is too thick, add milk 1 teaspoon at a time; if too thin, add powdered sugar 2 tablespoons at a time.

Assemble cake: If desired, level the cooled cake layers with a serrated knife. Place the first layer on a serving plate or cake stand. Spread a generous layer of frosting (about 1–1.5 cups) over the top. Place the second layer on top and apply a thin crumb coat of frosting over the entire cake. Chill 15–20 minutes, then finish frosting with remaining frosting to smooth or create texture as desired.

Serve: Slice and serve at room temperature. Store leftovers covered at room temperature for up to 2 days or refrigerated up to 5 days; bring to room temperature before serving.